The Journey

This morning at church, the message was about Abraham's journey and his up's and down's with God. I realized that I haven't cut Abraham enough slack in the past.
Yes, on two separate occasions he claimed that his wife was his sister and allowed her to become the mistress of two separate kings. One of these instances was when she had to be over 80, Sarah must have been HOT.
However, this morning, it struck home with me that Abraham was waiting for God to fulfill his promise 30 years after it had originally been made!!! I don't know of anyone today would could walk in faith without stumbling on just a promise for 30 years. If God spoke directly to me tomorrow with a promise for my future, and then waited 30 years to make it come to pass... I can't even fathom how many times I would lose faith and disappoint him just like Abraham did.
Thank heaven that my God is a God who values the process. It is indescribably beautiful to me that while he longs for my continual constancy, he also willingly forgives my perpetually falling short. I have enough self-awareness to recognize that I am a dramatically different person than I was ten years ago, or even three years ago. But I stand in wonder at what may be in store for me over the next 10, 30, or 50 years.
Our speaker Dallas said that we frequently don't understand the value of our own stories. That got me thinking about my personal story and I realized that, over and over, seemingly above all, I leap.
I left home at 18 to attend college half-way across the country where I didn't know anyone.
After college, I moved to a new city where I knew only 6 people on the promise of only a part-time job.
I married a man my parents didn't meet until 3 weeks before our wedding.
2 years after marrying that man, we picked up everything and moved. With no jobs, no place to live, no friends.
Six months after starting over in that new city, my husband re-enrolled in school to enter full-time ministry (a livelihood I'd promised myself I'd never again be dependent on).
Every month, we wait to see how God will sustain us.
Increasingly over the last few months, Proverbs 31:25   (the profile of a Godly woman) has become my inspiration: "Strength and honor are her clothing, and she can laugh at the time to come." I know I'm a long way from being able to laugh at the time to come, and I can only hope that someday I am worthy of being equated with concepts like strength and honor. I aspire to that kind of confidence, surety, grace.
I'd been a dancer all through high school and college, and only now do I realize that I've not only been launching my body through thin air, I've been doing the same thing with my life. With only faith and a promise that I am not leaping alone. I'm also coming to terms with the concept that I will fall, he will let me fall, but I'll have help to get back up.